Sunday, October 11, 2015

pumpkin boy voodoo pirate doll, plus, a video lesson in border patrol: autumn! and the cubs are still playing!

The other day a package arrived for Josie. It came through the U.S. mail from far away. It was a squooshy envelope addressed to Josie in care of me, so I cut off the end of the envelope and Josie took it from there.


He pulled out Pumpkin Boy.

Hey there.

Squeezing Pumpkin Boy’s head made him squeak.

a-squeak a-squeak-a

Very exciting! And, if chewing him just right in just the right places, a little stuffing came out!

Atta boy Josie!

What a lovely gift! Josie asked me to please write a thank-you note to the sender, so I sat down to do just that.

Then, out on the porch there arose such a clatter, we had to to get up to see what was the matter.

There was Elliott and a chipmunk. Chippie ran up the side of the cabin straight to the snowshoes hanging by the door. There he took refuge. Josie was pretty excited. I herded him back inside. Elliott disappeared under the porch. But soon he emerged, and I lugged him inside. Chippie remained in the snowshoe.

Go away.

Elliott fell asleep on the sofa, but Josie stayed full of thoughts of that chippie in the snowshoe. Not as wild and anxious as he is sometimes, like when the ungulates are advancing on the cabin from the west, munching their way slowly into our territory, but still he was keen to get back out, so out we went. Chippie was still in the snowshoe. Suddenly, he dashed to the top of the head of the kitchen window! And there he hung out the rest of the day.

Go away.

I brought Josie in, and he and Pumpkin Boy settled down for a nap. I finally sent that thank-you note. In return, I got the story behind Pumpkin Boy, which began with an idea to send Josie a pirate toy to maul in preparation for Major League Baseball’s National League Wild Card Game, a game featuring the Chicago Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates. But no Pirate dog toy could be found, so Pumpkin Boy was put in the game, and he was a fine voodoo pinch-hitter indeed. No remorse was felt when Josie tore Pumpkin Boy’s face off, dispensed with the squeaker, tossed those big fluffs of stuffing here and there, because this is exactly what we wanted to see done to the Pirates in the Wild Card game. Once we were done with the Pirates, we could go looking for a stuffed squeaky Cardinal, let Josie have at that, make it squawk! Tear it open! Rip that squeak-squeak right out of its beak! Then, we’ll go find a Dodger or a Met … but what the heck is a “dodger”? A guy dodging a trolley car to get to Ebbets Field, if I remember correctly. But in LA they just dodge traffic … would a squeaky car do? Nah. How about the Artful Dodger, from the musical “Oliver”? Davy Jones, later of Monkees fame, played the Artful Dodger on Broadway. Aha! Should be easy enough to find a squeaky monkey voodoo doll … But, what if it’s the Mets? What the heck is a “met”? Short for “metropolitans,” I believe. But, what’s a “metropolitan”? A city slicker? An opera singer? Maybe I could find a squeaky, furry opera singer. Or a squeaky, furry guy in a business suit with skinny black tie. Then, oh my gosh, what would we do for an “astro”? That dog from The Jetsons? Or an astronaut? But, if it’s the Royals—Prince Charles? Queen Elizabeth? Are there any stuffed and fuzzy Texas Rangers out there? A blue jay! That would be easy! There’s some out in the yard right now. We’ll leave the Blue Jays to Elliott!

But, we get ahead of ourselves, don’t we. One voodoo doll dog toy at a time, please.

go cubs go

Later that same day deer came through the yard. Josie was still sacked out with Voodoo Pumpkin Doll so he didn’t see, but Elliott was out there, and one deer did that thing of staring at him for a very long time, stamping one hoof then another before tiring, or having made his point, and wandering off.

This deer needs one of those bubbles over his head that says: Dumb cat.

On Wednesday the Cubs did take the stuffing out of the Pirates. Now it’s time to do the same to those Redbirds.

Redbird Voodoo Dog Toy is destined for the river.

Meanwhile, autumn has turned on her colors and more and more deer pass through, apparently unafraid of Josie. Nonetheless, we feel sure our borders are secure.